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Hylia's avatar

I didn’t see that rogue comma until I reread it after posting 🥲

PS:

The thumbnail image is the Phasmid from the video game *Disco Elysium*

It’s a wonderful game! I had that cryptid in my mind the whole time while imagining some of the features of the arthropod false gods

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Spencer D.W.'s avatar

I liked the premise. I use bug like imagery as often as I can. so loved this.

Critism i had would be the little passage where the mother explains their invasive. You probably don't need it. It took me out of it right rhere. Let the reader wonder why its all happening. maybe leave tinier bread crumbs.

and me being me and putting a creature into everything I can. I wish we got to hang on the creature. describe some more bits of it.

but it was a dope story! gonna had more of yours to my saved to read list!

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